I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.

Getting stuck in the elevator for a few hours wouldn’t be such a bad thing. PGP.

At first I was optimistic. I soon became realistic, then indifferent, then apathetic. I’m beyond that now. There may be a word for it but I don’t care enough to look it up. PGP.

My manager signs me up for meetings she doesn’t want to attend. I have no idea what the hell these meetings are about. PGP.

Coworker signed an email with “Have a productive day!” and I just wanted to respond “Go fuck yourself!” PGP.

1: “When is the next three day weekend?” 2: “Late May.” 1: “Shit.” PGP.

1: “Let’s circle back and touch base on Monday to get these deliverables in to the client by COB. Can you set up a conference call?” 2: “Fuck you.” PGP.

“Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know.” PGP.

Leaving your voicemail full so you don’t have to call people back. PGP.

Leaving the last bit of your lunch unfinished and in front of you so when coworkers come over to talk they think they’re interrupting. PGP.