Former Army Officer turned consultant. Firmly believes that the best ideas are conceived in the shower, twizzlers are way better than red vines, and that he should be allowed to have a $#%&ing beer at lunch. Can't understand why you always think of something better to say after hitting send, how the worst people are always the ones being promoted, or why balding guys don't just shave their heads. Constanly on the verge of starting a quest to work out and eat right. Trying to find love in the DMV.