“That’s not part of my job description.”
Told my secretary I wasn’t feeling well and was going to check out early. She said “you don’t look very good.” I’m actually fine, I just wanted to run some errands.
Waiting that extra minute in the stall so you don’t have to have an awkward washing your hands conversation with a coworker.
Even though my boss never talks to me, getting that email that he will be out of the office for the rest of the week really calms the nerves.