Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.

I have way too much in common with Peter Gibbons for only being 23. PGP.

Having troubling determining whats been longer, my dry streak or unemployment. PGP.

Just overheard my boss say, “I can still do a keg stand.” PGP.

I sipped the company Kool-Aid today. I kind of liked it. PGP.

People thinking you’re telling a joke when you tell them your salary. PGP.

“I hear there are hot guys on the 9th floor.” PGP.

Someone asking “What did you get?” every single time you come back from lunch. PGP.

I ate peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and dinner yesterday. I hate 31-day months. PGP.

Sneezed at the urinal, pissed on my tie. PGP.