Bank info was stolen, but none of the fraudulent charges went through because I don’t have enough money to afford the things they tried to buy. PGP.

Bit by bit, my boss is eating all the snacks I keep at my desk. PGP.

I could be on that super-drug from “Lucy” and still wouldn’t be able to get all this shit done. PGP.

My birthday treat was adding guac to my burrito that I’m eating alone at my desk. PGP.

A firm, yet very depressing sense of self-awareness. PGP.

She changed the Netflix password after we broke up. PGP.

The Google homepage wished me a happy birthday before any human did. PGP.

Everyone is working from home today. I didn’t get the memo. PGP.

Telling your buddies, “I had to get the Feds off my back” after making a student loan payment. PGP.

I actually enjoy reading. PGP.