Can’t Snap my deuces to friends because of the office’s automatic thrones. PGP.

I submitted a two-day vacation request while my boss was on a three-week vacation. The day he got back, he rejected my request. PGP.

My best friend has a smoking hot fiancée and bought a house. I find myself resenting him. PGP.

Five seconds of happiness before realizing your quarterly bonus is going entirely towards credit card debt. PGP.

“In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique.” PGP.

Actually starting to appreciate the way Larry David dresses. PGP.

Looking for the cheapest thing on the registry. PGP.

“What do you mean it didn’t save?” PGP.

Can’t tell if my coffee smells like urine or my urine smells like coffee. PGP.

My headphones haven’t been connected to anything all day. I just want to make sure everyone leaves me alone. PGP.