Wishing you received more emails just to have a sense of purpose. PGP.

If I wake up feeling refreshed, it probably means I overslept. PGP.

I’ve been living off granola bars and fruit snacks from my office’s snack basket for the past few months. PGP.

Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP.

“Oh, I have a grandson your age.” PGP.

Intentionally avoiding the cute teller at the bank, because you don’t want her to see your account balance. PGP.

Just realized I can no longer check the “20-24” age box on forms. PGP.

Fighting the urge to pretend I’m on Shark Tank and typing “for that reason, I’m out” in work emails. PGP.

I feel like my life has now turned into the first scene of any movie Rob Schneider made from 1999-2002. PGP.

Let’s just see who pops up on Match.com in the $150k+ income bracket. PGP.