I’ve been asked if I’m “having fun yet” three times today by the same person. PGP.

Having an emotionless face all the time, like Patrick Bateman. PGP.

FOMCC. Fear of making cold calls. PGP.

The circular reasoning of, “I don’t go out because I don’t have any friends,” and, “I don’t have any friends because I don’t go out.” PGP.

Going from fraternity secrets to office secrets. PGP.

Going into your weekly conference call knowing you had the most productive week, and leaving the call feeling like you accomplished nothing the past week. PGP.

Working for a company that doesn’t have “summer Fridays.” PGP.

Would anyone notice if I kept my shoes off when I went to the bathroom? PGP.

Leaving my job in a week. All this time, I didn’t realize it was possible to do so little work and get away with it. PGP.

There’s a dead animal in the wall at the office. I’ve never seen anyone here more excited. PGP.