Really excited about the leftovers I brought for lunch today, you guys. PGP.

Praying your check goes in at midnight to cover your “Thirsty Thursday” bar tab. PGP.

1: “Why do they even have the sort from High to Low option?” 2: “To make you feel poor.” PGP.

Searching your conference call host on LinkedIn only to discover they’re not as hot as they sounded. PGP.

Not announcing yourself when you join a conference call, and sheepishly stating your name when asked, “Who just joined?” PGP.

Conversations with mom used to be short because I didn’t want her to know the extent of my partying. Now I just have nothing going on. PGP.

Drinking responsibly just isn’t as fun. PGP.

Made lunch today and gave myself food poisoning. PGP.

Being jealous of your cat every morning you leave for work. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with most of my coworkers is that the same person writes our checks. PGP.