I started drinking at lunch for fun. Now I do it out of necessity. PGP.

The fine line between judgment and jealousy when you find out a friend’s parents still pay their rent. PGP.

My alarm is set for 6:47AM because I NEED those extra two minutes of sleep. PGP.

Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

Separation anxiety because your normal trivia host got transferred to another bar. PGP.

If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had been here. I’d forget too. PGP.

Gas, oil and check engine light came on in the same day. I don’t get paid for another week. PGP.

When your app crashes, it’s God’s way of saying “You’ve been pooping long enough.” PGP.

Taking a dump and playing “Clash of Clans” is always the highlight of my day. PGP.