I didn’t make a single call all last week and no one even said anything. PGP.

I brought in a box of donuts this morning and watched three people’s New Year’s resolutions crumble to pieces. PGPM.

My week feels like Monday, Monday #2, Monday #3, Monday #4, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday. PGP.

Friday, you son of a bitch! PGP.

My New Year’s Resolution is to stop treating my body like a garbage disposal. PGP.

NYE hangover: day two. PGP.

Should’ve stayed the fuck home. PGP.

It’s New Year’s Eve and all I want to do is stay in, in my pajamas and drink on my couch while not watching the ball drop. PGP.

When STD stands for “Save The Date” and not “Sexually Transmitted Disease.” PGP.