Calling “dibs” on the Master bedroom of the condo when traveling with your manager. PGPM.

Gave my two week notice today. Best day at work in months. PGP.

Giancarlo Stanton now makes 893 times my current salary. PGP.

Too poor for a girlfriend or a pet. Not busy at all. PGP.

Too busy for a boyfriend. Too poor for a pet. PGP.

Putting more effort and creativity into PGP submissions than my actual work. PGP.

Just trying to make it to lunch. PGP.

My “Rainy Day Fund” is an uncashed scratch-off lottery ticket. PGP.

I have literally zero control over how much I drink whenever I go out. PGP.