Trading in the beer shits for the coffee ones. PGP.

The need to scrub the bar stamp off my hand was my only motivation for getting in the shower this morning. PGP.

Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP.

Intentionally avoiding the cute teller at the bank, because you don’t want her to see your account balance. PGP.

I hope I find a new job soon so I can put this resignation letter I wrote months ago to good use. PGP.

All I do is work, work, work no matter what. Got money on mind, I barely have enough. Every time I step up in the building…I can’t wait to get out of here. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

Referring to customers by their characteristics, not by their names. PGP.

Being on double secret probation isn’t as fun as it was in college. PGP.