If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds and nobody would ever know I had been here. I’d forget too. PGP.

Gas, oil and check engine light came on in the same day. I don’t get paid for another week. PGP.

When your app crashes, it’s God’s way of saying “You’ve been pooping long enough.” PGP.

My manager cut a hole in my cubicle wall so he could have “better lines of communication.” PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Brought my lunch to save money. Gone by 10 am. PGP.

I’ve been living off granola bars and fruit snacks from my office’s snack basket for the past few months. PGP.

Had no internet at work yesterday, spent 9 hours playing solitaire. PGP.