Bit by bit, my boss is eating all the snacks I keep at my desk. PGP.

I can identify my coworkers by their bald spots. PGP.

How many girls have swiped left on my profile by mistake? PGP.

I could be on that super-drug from “Lucy” and still wouldn’t be able to get all this shit done. PGP.

Only thing worse than my golf swing is my entire body the next day. PGP.

My birthday treat was adding guac to my burrito that I’m eating alone at my desk. PGP.

A firm, yet very depressing sense of self-awareness. PGP.

Having a stretching routine before heading out for the night. PGP.

Finding a significant other with good health insurance is my number one priority, because mine is awful. PGP.

“Hey Dad, I’m coming home today” “Why?” PGP.