I ate a bag of Doritos for dinner last night. PGP.

Girlfriend, 401(k), gym membership. Pick one. PGP.

Shit’s expensive. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Smoking cigarettes to increase your metabolism. PGP.

My parents got me a self help book for my birthday. PGP.