I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.

My bank posts my paycheck as “pending” the day before pay day, essentially teasing me with my own money. PGP.

LinkedIn suggested that I connect with the officer who arrested me freshman year. PGP.

1: “Hey, man, how’s it going?” 2: “Eh, depends on how you look at it.” PGP.

The not so very subtle fist pump when the handicap stall in the bathroom is vacant. PGP.

Every day at work, I park under an old tree in the hopes that it will fall and I can then collect the insurance money on my totaled car. PGP.

Everyone at the company baseball game bought beer. I bought Dippin Dots. PGP.

My boss is letting everyone hang out in the conference room and watch the World Cup. I hate soccer. PGP.

This is my cube. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My cube is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My cube, without me, is useless. Without my cube, I am useless. PGP.