No one has emailed me since noon. Am I dead?

Washing down melatonin with whiskey

“Is it me guys, or does it feel like it should be Friday?” PGP.

Deleting all browsing history, every day. PGPM.

My division director sent out an email saying there would be no bonuses this year, followed by another email with pictures of his new corvette…..which is parked in his driveway next to his other four corvettes. PGP.

My quarterly performance review is coming up. I hope I get fired. PGP

Added twenty minutes to my commute thanks to a school bus stopping traffic every thousand feet. PGP

Still sore 3 days after my softball game

Ordered Jimmy John’s online two hours ago but forgot to press “submit” so I’m just not eating lunch today. PGP.