Didnt go out last night. Still feel like shit. PGP

If I have to hear one more “were you really sick or just hungover?” joke I swear to god. PGP.

The tentative outlook accept being the professional equivalent of imessage read receipts. PGP

Got my friend a job at my office. Now I hate him. PGP.

Just as Young Jeezy would say, I need a vacation. PGP.

My girlfriend is jealous of my work wife. PGP.

The person in the stall next to you asking “Is that you?” and you’re pretty sure you don’t know them. PGP.

When I get a Brazilian wax, I instantly want to have sex.

Computer is getting too slow to pull off quick tab-switching. PGP.

Preparing for an interview with another company while attempting to still look productive at your current job. PGP.