People in the office are bringing their kids in Friday to trick or treat. Now I have to share my candy. PGP

I want to go to lunch and never come back. PGP.

Asking, “Is it too early for a drink?” promply after your 7:15 tee time. PGPM

That death glare from the 5th floor receptionist because she’s starting to realize I only come there to use the cleaner, less crowded bathrooms. PGP.

Gonna pop some perfume on today in hope that people will think I’m getting laid on my lunch breaks.

I broke down and cried tears of joy when my parents offered to pay for new brake pads.

Assuming a member of the opposite sex is flirting with you when they add you on LinkedIn.

I wouldn’t feel obligated to go to my boss’ funeral.

My meeting mindset has evolved to “admit nothing, deny everything, and make counter accusations”. PGP.

Are Tuesday Scaries a thing? Because if so, I believe I have them. PGP