At this rate I’ll never make enough to own a private jet PGP

My office used me be a women’s restroom.

I used to wonder what “your love life’s DOA” from the Friends theme song was like. Now I know.

Clicking on different parts of your desktop constantly to look as if you’re actually doing something. PGP

When leaving 5 min later than normal costs you 45 minutes on your commute…PGP.

I think of a new place to move. Every. Day.

Forgetting the attachment. PGP.

Holy shit, I can’t do this for the rest of my life…PGP.

My boss retired today. I’m more than qualified for that job. They’re filling it from the outside. PGP.

My mom texts every Friday morning asking me if I have “big plans” for the weekend.