Telling yourself everyday that you won’t drink after work, then you go to work and lose all self-control. PGP

I’m so jacked for tax season. PGP

My badge to get into my office didn’t work this morning. It was the scariest ten minutes of my life. PGP

Hangovers at work being unacceptable, with the exception of the day after the office holiday party.

Clicking on different parts of your desktop constantly to look as if you’re actually doing something. PGP

I don’t get wedding invites anymore because all my friends are already married. PGP

Obnoxious business word of the day: Leverage. PGP

“Did you watch the riots last night?” PGP

I still make out in bars.PGP

“So, you still haven’t found a girlfriend?” PGP