Saw my boss coming 100ft away but pretended like I didn’t see, and didn’t hold the door for her. PGPM.

I used to see Tetris in my sleep when I was a kid. Now I see Excel. PGP

“You surpassed your annual billable hours goal by 35%, so I gave you a performance rating of ‘Meets Expectations’.” PGP.

Fishing for work wives on the first day. PGPM

Won my office March Madness pool. First place prize is “bragging rights” PGP

I wish it was acceptable to reply “Fuck it” to half of the work emails I receive. PGP.

Knowing a huge project is coming down your way and thinking of changing jobs to avoid.

My co-workers all got in to a pyramid scheme that they haven’t figured out is a scam yet.

My manager viewed my LinkedIn profile 2 hours ago. PGP.

Having friends that sell shit on facebook.