Everyone in the office wants the city we’re in to land the Amazon HQ. I just want to get a beer after work. PGP.

Been here for a year. Done all there is to do. Mentally checked out while I apply for other jobs. PGP.

Having the same Monday night routine as Ted Cruz. PGP.

Wishing you had a more ergonomic chair. PGP.

Equifax. PGP.

My coworker responds “roger that” in a group text with my boss. PGP.

Holding in jokes that would probably get you fired. PGP.

A girl in my office had “fell down the stairs and bruised her elbow” last week so she worked from home. Today, she “fell on the street and bruised her knee”, so now she’s working from home. PGP.

The age of “college football is back, but no one can find babysitters for the weekend.” PGP.

Ducking plans for this weekend because you’re still hungover from last weekend. PGP.