Last week on the job and trying to pretend like I still give a shit. PGP.

Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

Accepted an offer for a new job today and leave for Vegas tomorrow. My out of office is just going to be “I will be out Friday and not will not be returning.” PGP.

Spent 7 hours at the El Paso airport. PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

Senior coworker is leaving to another team. I’m inheriting all of his responsibility and none of his pay. PGP.

I just found out I’m going to a wedding for Memorial Day weekend 2018. PGP.

Hungover right now because I got too drunk while fixing things around the house yesterday. PGP.

Just put $100 I won from horse betting into my savings account and it may be the most responsible decision I’ll make all year. PGP.

Missed my connecting flight and had to sleep in the Detroit Airport. PGP.