Everyone in the office wants the city we’re in to land the Amazon HQ. I just want to get a beer after work. PGP.

Been here for a year. Done all there is to do. Mentally checked out while I apply for other jobs. PGP.

Equifax. PGP.

My coworker responds “roger that” in a group text with my boss. PGP.

Holding in jokes that would probably get you fired. PGP.

Fantasizing about dual monitors. PGP.

Spent Saturday night eating sushi alone on the couch. My friends got engaged. PGP.

Holding your morning dump until you get to the office as a form of procrastination. PGP.

CFB watch parties for my alumni group are now held at Twin Peaks and my girlfriend will get angry if I go. PGP.

Left my number on a receipt for the waitress at Applebee’s. Biggest rush I’ve gotten all month. PGP.