Completed a 26.2 episode marathon. Special thanks to Netflix for believing in me. PGP.

I like to pretend that the super hot bank teller is flirting with me, but deep down I know she’s just really nice to everyone. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

Just realized I read and enjoyed an article ranking types of milk. PGP.

99% of my work is done in 5 minute bursts. PGP.

I brought in a box of donuts this morning and watched three people’s New Year’s resolutions crumble to pieces. PGPM.

My week feels like Monday, Monday #2, Monday #3, Monday #4, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday. PGP.

My company not having its shit together is the only thing keeping me from being fired. PGP.

1: “Did you already eat lunch?” 2: “Yeah.” 1: “Do you want to go to Chili’s anyway?” 2: “Yeah.” PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.