I’m starting to think all these recruiters on Linkedin are just contacting me to look busy at their jobs, because there is no way I’m qualified for what they are asking for. PGP.

The asshole/gentleman balance that worked in college just doesn’t work anymore. PGP.

Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.

Swiping right on what is an obvious Tinder bot just so you can have at least one match this week. PGP.

Got four fortune cookies with my order, because apparently I ordered enough food to feed a family of four. PGP.

I drink less than I did in high school. PGP.

Got a flu shot because the company paid me $20 for it. PGP.

Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

I test my desk at least once a day to see if I could actually flip it when I eventually rage quit this job. PGP.