“How you doing this morning? It looks like you don’t want to be here.” -Becky from HR. PGP.

I ate a bag of Doritos for dinner last night. PGP.

$35k is a fancy way of saying “I live paycheck-to-paycheck.” PGP.

The guy who doesn’t even pretend to care about making eye contact in the hallway. PGP.

Just overheard my boss say, “I can still do a keg stand.” PGP.

Checking your bank account multiple times a day out of sheer boredom. PGP.

I sipped the company Kool-Aid today. I kind of liked it. PGP.

I just paused to remember if the word was “dissatisfied” or “unsatisfied.” It took me a second because I’ve never needed to know that until this point in my life. PGP.

Not noticing that your raise kicked in. PGP.

The first test I’ve taken in years was a 30-question written driving test to renew my license. I failed it. PGP.