Avoiding bathroom eye contact with coworkers, like two shits passing in the night. PGP.

Looking forward to listening to my new audio book on my commute home tonight. #PGP

Debating if my ability to lie to clients is a credit to my resourcefulness or a sign of my lack of morality

“Could you cover for me while I’m out this week?” PGP.

The “Can I get your John Hancock on this?” for paperwork requiring a signature. PGP

Priced out a minivan today. PGP

Contemplated calling in a noise complaint on my undergrad neighbors around 11:45pm last night. PGP

Lying about having seen a YouTube video so you don’t have to stand there and watch it.

James Bond knows what the weight of an empty gun feels like. I’m the same way with my stapler. PGP.

Acromyms.PGP.