The circular reasoning of, “I don’t go out because I don’t have any friends,” and, “I don’t have any friends because I don’t go out.” PGP.

Going from fraternity secrets to office secrets. PGP.

Working for a company that does not even recognize “Casual Fridays.” PGP.

Spending the rest of the afternoon cleaning out the speaker holes in my iPhone with a push pin. PGP.

I shit more in one day than I did a week in college. PGP.

Working for a company that doesn’t have “summer Fridays.” PGP.

Bad tie days. PGP.

My friend just told me she saw my boss at the bar watching the game. He told me he was going to Staples. PGP.

An older coworker referring to pressing the power button on a computer as “reworking the hard-drive.” PGP.