My boss says, “See you tomorrow?” instead of “See you tomorrow.” PGP.

Fighting the urge to respond, “Yeah, no shit” when your superior ends a conversation with “This is serious.” PGP.

The Supreme Court making you officially thankful your boss isn’t a religious nut job. PGP.

Living life one quarter at a time. PGP.

The only donuts left are cut in half. PGP.

Pulled a muscle having drunk sex over the weekend, I told my coworkers it’s a tennis injury. PGP.

Passing on the donuts as they go around the conference room, but binge eating them alone in the file room. PGP.

Feeling productive after clearing everyone’s story on Snapchat. PGP.

Our VP of Marketing is wearing Target sandals at Happy Hour. Here I am thinking a promotion would mean nicer things. PGP.

Considering stealing some copper. Not to buy meth, but to buy wedding gifts. PGP.