Watching Spongebob with my nephew and exclusively identifying with Squidward. PGP.

Someone shared “12 things you never knew you could put in the dishwasher” on Facebook. I don’t have a dishwasher. PGP.

Ate a brownie. Unknowingly smeared brownie residue on a report. Get called into HR to discuss “the importance of washing my hands after leaving the restrooms.” PGP.

Listening to the execs plan their trip to the Hamptons. I’m excited for a seven dollar bar crawl this weekend. PGP.

Checking the breakroom snack counter every 30 minutes to see if any food magically appeared. Just like your refrigerator at home. PGP.

Everyone in the office has been losing their shit over how awesome the newly installed Dyson Blade hand-dryers are. PGP.

Hitting the range on your lunch break. PGP.

My boss made a “You’ve been working very hard. Why don’t you take Friday off?” joke just now. I’ve been so out of it that I didn’t realize we already had it off. PGP.

Promotions that manage to make you feel worse about yourself. PGP.

At work on my birthday. PGP.