Wearing athletic shorts while eating an entire pizza. PGP.

I’ve eaten so much chicken that I can’t take it anymore. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

The Tesla Model III sounds awesome and everything, but I doubt I’ll have $35,000 by 2017. PGP.

Negative 16 hours of vacation time and counting. Maybe no one will notice. PGP.

Just got my first email about my ten year high school reunion. Time to start working out. PGP.

Trading in the beer shits for the coffee ones. PGP.

My parents inviting me over for a week while they are on vacation. I found a note on when to feed the dog. PGP.

Got one of those, “I either made lots of friends or ruined friendships night” type of hangovers. PGP.

“Oh, I have a grandson your age.” PGP.