The one week on, one month off workout routine. PGP.

I contemplated putting a blow-up doll in the passenger seat so I could get away with using the carpool lane. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

Our office blocked ESPN for the rest of the World Cup. PGP.

Looking at sleeping bums with envy as you walk to work in the morning. PGP.

Never being able to find the secret bathroom everyone talks about. PGP.

When did that fat roll get here? PGP.

These people have been shitting for 40 years and still manage to smear the back of the seat. PGP.

Spending more money on food at the gas station than the grocery store. PGP.

FOMCC. Fear of making cold calls. PGP.