Watching “The Wolf of Wall Street” and realizing that you actually do work for a “shit kicker bucket shop.” PGP.

If I learn anything from this internship, it’s how many times I can wear my work clothes without paying for dry cleaning. PGP.

Referring to customers by their characteristics, not by their names. PGP.

Being on double secret probation isn’t as fun as it was in college. PGP.

LinkedIn suggested that I connect with the officer who arrested me freshman year. PGP.

My boss is letting everyone hang out in the conference room and watch the World Cup. I hate soccer. PGP.

“What the fuck are we supposed to be doing?” PGP.

The first word out of my mouth every day is “fuuuuuuck.” PGP.