I watched old ’90s porn last night. The set had nicer furniture than my office does. PGP.

Fighting the urge to respond, “Yeah, no shit” when your superior ends a conversation with “This is serious.” PGP.

Instead of giving us a raise, they put a fountain in the lobby. PGP.

Realizing you’re at the office twice as much as your boss and make half as much. PGP.

I hope I find a new job soon so I can put this resignation letter I wrote months ago to good use. PGP.

All I do is work, work, work no matter what. Got money on mind, I barely have enough. Every time I step up in the building…I can’t wait to get out of here. PGP.

When the highlight of your week is getting on the PGP wall. PGP.

When mowing the lawn becomes your workout. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

My boss is a mix of incredibly attractive and completely unattainable. PGP.