Took a summer class. Still eligible to get students tickets for football season. PGS.

All my coworkers’ children had a recital for the office. I bought condoms on the way home. PGP.

Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V. PGP.

When I get bored at work, I just get pictures of goats off the internet and send the pictures to my coworkers in emails marked “important.” PGP.

Inescapable urinal small talk. PGP.

Wanting to go back to school with the interns. PGP.

“There’s no one new around you.” Story of my life. PGP.

Sweating like I ran for an hour. I mowed the lawn. PGP.

“The SEC network comes with your digital starter package but is not offered in your area at this time.” PGP.

I literally did nothing at work today. Seriously, nothing. PGP.