Receiving a mass email and then 20 subsequent “reply all” emails. PGP.

Getting asked by every fucking friend and family member if you know Jake upon accepting a job with State Farm. PGP.

I haven’t received an email in over two hours. Someone please send me something to do. PGP.

I’ll know who my future wife is when we both get pissed at the bartender during last call and both start verbally abusing him at the same time. That’s when I’ll know she’s the one. PGP.

Actually being intrigued by an infomercial. PGP.

I’m old enough to remember when Facebook required you to have a .edu email address to become a member. PGP.

I eat with my in-laws as often as possible because they always pick up the tab. PGP.

Going from idolizing Patrick Bateman to empathizing with him. PGP.

Made a game time decision to wear my “fun” socks to work. Most exciting thing I did all week. PGP.

Just bought a sick vacuum. PGP.