CEO just bought a private jet, which explains why I didn’t get a raise. PGP.

The flash of panic you get when settling into your favorite stall only to realize your phone is still on your desk. PGP.

My manager’s email signature is a Marilyn Monroe quote. PGP.

Saying you’re in your “mid-20s” at 27. PGP.

Don’t even know why I own sunglasses. The only time I escape the four walls of this hell hole is when it’s dark. PGP.

The president of my company admitted that I was underpaid, and then proceeded to not give me a raise. PGP.

Convincing yourself that taking the stairs once a day counteracts your horrendously unhealthy eating habits. PGP.

I had a long argument with my girlfriend over a spam email from eHarmony last night. PGP.

Moved to a new town for work. The only person I talk to outside of work is my leasing agent. PGP.

Living off a steady diet of microwaveable meals and beer. PGP.