My paycheck bounced. PGP.

The fuck is a Shmoney Dance? PGP.

“I just wanted to thank you again for the opportunity…” PGP.

Weighing out the pros and cons of a semi-serious car accident on the way to work. PGP.

The asshole/gentleman balance that worked in college just doesn’t work anymore. PGP.

My current fantasy game hinges on tonight’s late game, but it starts past my bedtime. PGP.

Until recently, I thought Ariana Grande was a font in Microsoft Office. PGP.

Swiping right on what is an obvious Tinder bot just so you can have at least one match this week. PGP.

I have to hold the world record for consecutively hitting exactly $20.00 at the pump. PGP.

Got four fortune cookies with my order, because apparently I ordered enough food to feed a family of four. PGP.