The feeling of sheer joy when someone cancels plans. PGP.

Started to use Rogaine for about a week. Got ED for two weeks and lost hair. PGP.

38 minutes late to work today because I jacked off in the shower this morning. I didn’t even finish. PGP.

I legitimately forget how old I am sometimes. PGP.

I have no intention to change my drinking habits. PGP.

Bought a new bed in January. Still haven’t gotten laid in it. PGP.

Going from “it’s not alcoholism until you graduate” to “it’s not alcoholism until you’re married.” PGP.

The woman in the cube next to me brought her baby in today. Now people are surrounding my cube and I have to get actual work done. PGP.

Can I go home now? PGP.

Having to lie to coworkers on Monday morning to make it seem like I had an exciting weekend. PGP.