I fucking love my Honda Accord. PGP.

Netflix autopay just overdrafted my checking account. PGP.

My company put me in charge of ordering new business cards for everyone. Say hello to your new Executive Vice President of Marketing Coordination. PGPM.

Saying you’re “looking forward to working together” to someone you despise. PGP.

Getting less Tinder matches in college towns. PGP.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit. PGP.

I swear my company installed wi-fi blockers in all the restrooms. PGP.

Just told a joke to the guy in the cube next to me. He wasn’t there. PGP.

Taking a bright-eyed, eager new hire under my wing and ever-so-subtly transferring my daily workload to him. PGPM.

Just got a raise. Still poor. PGP.