I had to ask someone if I could email them a document because I don’t know how to work a fax machine. PGP.

I took a sick day today. My boss has been emailing me nonstop. PGP.

New phone system at work traces every call and my boss can listen in at any time. Thanks Obama

I like to pretend that the super hot bank teller is flirting with me, but deep down I know she’s just really nice to everyone. PGP.

Spent over five hours of company time playing Oregon Trail, making up for all the elementary school sessions that my teachers cut short. PGP.

Got strep throat yesterday. My boss asked me if I was still coming in. She was legitimately pissed off when I told her the antibiotics take 24 hours to kick in. PGP.

So much access to bank accounts and social security numbers. All I need is a little push from the right person. PGP.

99% of my work is done in 5 minute bursts. PGP.

My life is a series of awkward moments sprinkled with incompetence and debauchery. PGP.

My life is now basically just waiting until I get to go to sleep again and then not being able to fall asleep when that time comes. PGP.