Not going to grad school because I just spent 17 fucking years in school. PGP.
All the blame and none of the credit. PGP.
Got caught jamming to the hold music on the phone. PGP.
I still have an iPhone 4. PGP.
“Cake-eater” being more of a description of my diet than a ’90s insult. PGP.
They forgot to up-charge me for guac today. I feel like I just won the lottery. PGP.
Going on a “day date” at the zoo instead of tailgating. PGP.
The light sensors in the bathroom last seven minutes. Feels like 30 seconds. PGP.
Being that guy who brings store bought items to the monthly company potluck. PGP.