Wondering what would happen if I just “forgot” to come back to work after lunch. PGP.

My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

I legitimately forget how old I am sometimes. PGP.

Inescapable urinal small talk. PGP.

Wanting to go back to school with the interns. PGP.

“There’s no one new around you.” Story of my life. PGP.

“The SEC network comes with your digital starter package but is not offered in your area at this time.” PGP.

Bought a new bed in January. Still haven’t gotten laid in it. PGP.

Realizing “Friends” is bullshit, because I don’t even know five single people much less hang out with them across the hall. PGP.