When experimenting with drugs refers to trying Cialis or Viagra. PGP.

Getting a power trip from having your own intern. PGP.

Acting like the water is really cold when I dump it on my head because I’m too broke to buy a bag of ice. PGP.

Been planning on hitting up McD’s for the new jalapeño McDouble for weeks now. Today’s the day. PGP.

Bad girl gone good. PGP.

All my friends are assholes, but I have no idea where you find new ones. PGP.

When being itchy means it’s time to wash your sheets again. PGP.

My roommates walked in on me masturbating this morning. I live with my parents. PGP.

I really need to take my suit to the dry cleaners, but then I wouldn’t have anything to wear to work for a few days. PGP.

Scratch offs and lottery tickets seem like my only hope. PGP.