Got my friend a job at my office. Now I hate him. PGP.

Used Subway’s private bathroom, then walked next door to McDonald’s for lunch. PGP

Immediately deleting any emails requesting volunteers.

The office microwave just broke and I can’t afford to eat out. PGP

Receiving an email from Cindy marked as ‘urgent’ at 4:30 on Halloween Friday. PGP.

I finally understand, “girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money.” PGP.

I forgot my lunch. PGP.

Living in constant fear of my mute button malfunctioning