My one goal at work is to go this whole day without anyone finding out it’s my birthday.

“You’ll add me on LinkedIn but not on Facebook? I thought we were friends outside the office!” PGP.

Everytime I hear the printer firing up outside my office, I know that’s my cue to make it appear as if I’m working. PGP.

I’ve received 3 emails in the past hour reminding me we don’t have Columbus Day off.

Always being stuck in “second gear”.

Used a vacation day today. Spent it looking for jobs. PGP.

My mom suggested that I get a tinder. PGP.

Checking to see if the person tailgating you on the way to work has the company parking pass before flipping them off. PGP.

Upping my fiber count. PGP

Being too tired at the end of the work day to look for a new job. PGP.