Got locked out of my mobile banking app. Even it knows I shouldn’t be looking at it for a while.

Having my way with whatever is in the fridge because I’m the only one in on December 26th.

Hating someone solely based on how they format their emails.

The exhilarating rush of deleting multiple rows at once on an Excel spreadsheet.

“Are you going to go too hard at the holiday party again this year?”

My credit score going up 20 points was the most exciting moment of my week.

Having Alexa set recurring 14-minute reminders to touch the keyboard to keep an ‘Active’ status in Skype Business while working from home.

Ending nearly half of all office communicator conversations with “and next time you can probably just Google this.”

When you walk up to a table to meet your friends and hear “speak of the devil.”

Nobody saw me leave for lunch; looks like I just bought myself 15 extra minutes.